the excitement of everyday life

yesterday i took a well deserved day off. i'd been working myself too much lately, and thought it would be refreshing to take a day and just do whatever i wanted.

slept in and woke up late. yes!

invited claire to come to the soup kitchen with me. she said yes!

had a great time at the soup kitchen. was told i looked gorgeous! and smelled good! only had to break up one small fight. sometimes men are so obnoxious. i wish they would learn to hold their tongue! that's what my mom and dad taught me. it's not worth it to get in the last word. they wouldn't stop even when a cute girl asked them to just drop it. sigh.

i spent some time with my cd collection. it'd been a year or so since i updated my music list, and i thought i was finding cds that weren't where they belonged, and others seemed to be missing from the list.

while doing that project, i found *3* cds that had been put into other cases for travel purposes, i'm sure...but those 3 cds had been lost for 9 months and i was SUPER EXCITED to have them back! i had actually started to worry that i'd lost/left them somewhere. hooray!

later in the evening, i got a call from someone who had some firewood to sell. cherry, split, and big pieces, about a cord. did i want it? absolutely! made 2 runs in my car, well into the night, and the roommates helped me unload it into the yard. warmth in the winter, i can't wait! well, yes, i can wait. i want to wait. i'm not ready to build fires yet, but i look forward to being ready with dry wood! during the unloading, zach sang us a rousing rendition of "the wonders of mechanical invention" since we were using a wheelbarrow.

[this was my second night of firewooding - the previous night i made a run to someone's house where i got some rounds of fir and some bigger pieces, and then i happened upon a house that had a sign out front that said 'free firewood' so i got some. it was kind of rotten birch, but some of the pieces were solid. score! i feel like a midnight firewood raider, however...]

after all the unloading was complete, we went inside, at which point zach realized we were all in the house together at one time, and he decided it was time for us to share the ONE lone pepper that had been growing in the garden. it was pretty feeble; small and leathery. but it was red and we were determined to share it since we all helped with it's growth and development. for a little red pepper, i found it to be quite tasty, even though we each only got a sliver.

to top off my wonderful day, i decided to sleep outside under the stars. a few things i learned from this:

1. lights on in the house can really light up the deck
2. chocolate before bed is a bad idea
3. every noise makes you think something big is coming for you
4. not using a tent makes a person feel very vulnerable!
5. the stars at night are amazing, along with the cool breeze, lack of biting bugs, and crickets chirping. thank you oregon!
   
6. the full moon is very bright!
   

i didn't sleep very soundly, but i did dream, and the last few hours of my sleep were very restful. i'd probably do it again, while i still can.

happy thursday!

that's the brakes

yesterday was wednesday. i had lots to do and i thought, "you know what, i deserve to drive today after dilligently biking for the past 2 days in the rain." i had errands to run and places to be and wanted to get to work early and thought that driving would be the best option.

that is, until, i started to go downhill and realized that my brakes didn't work. holy crap, that was a scary situation! i'd never experienced pressing the brake pedal all the way to the floor, and with no response. i guess the brakes worked barely enough to slow me down, since i hadn't really accelerated and was just coasting. but still, going downhill, around a corner, and toward a busy street...thankfully the car stopped appropriately before i got to the even bigger hill i needed to go down to get to work.

i sat at the stop sign thinking, "what do i do? i can't make it down this hill to get to work, i won't stop and i'll crash and that will be awful." i decided to wait until traffic was clear, pull a u-turn into the busy street (that wasn't busy at 7am) and then go back home (uphill) and sit and figure out what to do next.

i needed at least 30 minutes of thinking, sitting, calming down, and a few phone calls to decide to call AAA and get towed somewhere. but where? i don't know any place to get my car fixed in town. i haven't had to do that. and i hadn't ever asked anyone where they got their's fixed. and now it was WAY too early to be calling people to ask that. so i put my trust in AAA and let them figure out where i should go. they went with the company that was going to tow my car anyway, and i figured that was the best bet i had.

i sat in the car for 45 minutes. now, i hadn't gotten much sleep the previous 2 nights (average of 4 hours). so i'm waaaaaaaaaaay tired and sitting in my car and trying not to fall asleep before the tow truck arrives. hardest 45 minutes of my life, of recent. i now know that i can survive one night of complete sleep deprivation, but the second night makes the third day really, really bad. nothing like adrenaline though, to wake me up, at least momentarily.

got towed, got a ride to work, and on both of those truck rides i got asked eerie questions from the drivers. now it may have been just random chit chat. but it seemed directed. both of them asked questions or made comments about women being alone or working at a job like a tow truck drivers...i don't know it's hard to explain. but one of them we started off talking about my job, which led to global warming debate (he doesn't believe it), which led to my job again, which led to me being tired and working late hours, which led to him saying something about me being unattached, which led to me saying i didn't have kids, which made him ask the question if i was married, which made me answer that i had a boyfriend, and then he got on the topic of protecting women and women being careful and did i carry protection when i went home at night by myself...

reflecting back on it, i couldn't tell if he was just chatting because he cared about my safety, generally, as a woman who could be attacked, or if he was feeling for details because he could be an attacker. i couldn't work it out in my mind. i was just not sure. so then i was all worried about going home at night.

the rest of the day went well enough. got to work, got things started, went to the soup kitchen where i got called "little lady", and was told i looked like a qp doll, or better yet, one of the characters from south park. wasn't sure how to take that. we had breakfast for lunch and i made sure to get a few slices of bacon. soooooooo good. also there were sugar cookies to take home. i ate a few with some milk. soooooo good. my bad day was shaping up alright.

the rest of the day went fine. the mechanics at the place were out that day, so they wouldn't be looking at my car until the next day anyway. i survived the afternoon of work. i didn't fall asleep. the experiment must go on.

i did not go to the gym, however. my calf muscles are KILLING me. they are extremely sore and tight. those triple calf raises are the worst! i thought after the first round a week ago that i would have healed up from the pain. but oh no! it's back. tomorrow i will get out the rolling pin and roll the knots out of my legs. this morning when i got out of bed i almost fell over from the tightness. ouch. more stretching to come.

feeling full of loss

death, loss, and general sadness

today i found out that our dish scraper guy, thomas, died last week. he had come in the previous week to see us, to visit...he'd been gone for awhile, some surgery on his eyes, and then had broken part of his back and had been in a bed for weeks. he was well enough (and driving!) to come see us, though he didn't work that day. he was in great spirits.

today when i got to the kitchen, it was fairly empty. pat, the tall dishwasher, was also there early. i said, "you're here early" (i was too) and he said, "marilyn and i came early to pay our respects for tom." i said, "tom? the dish scraper?" he said, "yes, he passed away on veteran's day." i said, "really?! i had no idea! of course, i don't get the paper so i didn't see the obituary." pat said that apparently the night before he died, thomas was doing fine, had gone to bed at his usual time, and was snoring away at 9pm. when his wife checked on him in the morning, he had apparently died in his sleep and was not breathing. there is suspicion that he had an old aneurysm that began to leak again, but no autopsy was done. and now may he rest in peace.

knowing what that is like, to wake up next to someone you care about and realizing they are gone...i was devastated (my grandfather passed away in his recliner chair in the night, while i slept on the bed next to the chair, holding his hand). i did cry, a little, for what kind of person is not moved when a person they are close with passes on? but there was much work to be done. i feel a sense of loss but i know he is comfortable and happy (and eating all kinds of sweets, as he was diabetic) wherever he and his spirit have gone off to.

it is a very sad day for me. but, in his defense, thomas was nearly 90 years old and from what i could tell, had lived a very good life. he was happy every time we saw him, he was a huge oregon state fan, and every time i had dishes that needed to go to the dishwasher, i would bring them to his window. he would joke around with me. i shook his hand or gave him a high five every time i saw him and would exclaim, "thomas!" it always made him smile. he had a good sense of humor.

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in other news, last week i finished dress your family in corduroy and denim by david sedaris, and have moved onto when you are engulfed in flames by the same author. i have been listening to them in the car, but recently i began bringing cds to work and listening to them while i work.

another book i finished listening to this afternoon was the translator by daoud hari. this was another sad, sad tale, about a man and his family surrounded by war in darfur, which is in western sudan, near chad. it was good, historically, for me to learn about this region of the world. but horrible, and i mean in the worst way, horrible to learn about all the suffering and death the native people had to endure. running for their lives with their children as their villages were burned to the ground. there were other tales of sheer horror, which the author recounts. several times the story made me cry, overwhelming tears of sadness and loss, even though i have never been to africa, nor do i know anyone who lived there through that war / genocide. but who can not feel moved when they hear about children being murdered in front of their families, people being beaten to a bloody pulp and told they are liars when they are, in fact, telling the truth, or people who lose their entire families either to death or separation or murder. it was mortifying to listen to the words, and still i'm not quite sure about why everyone was fighting one another, other than the government seemed to put them up to it. rebel groups and resistance groups and actual evil people. there is so much evil. i cannot understand how any of the murderers can live with themselves on a day to day basis. it's just so wrong.

this of course, added to my sense of overall loss and sadness on the day. and then i think, what could i do about it? and then i think, i wouldn't even know the first thing about knowing what to do about it. and then i think, the united states does what they can to help out when they know something bad is happening. and then i think, why do so many people hate us?

time to think about something brighter.

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gym report:

decided to hit the strength conditioning class today. 1 hour of all sorts of lifting, step aerobics, jumping jacks, walking / running in place, squats, lunges, using the resistance band and walking, abs (mostly plank and pilates (ball) style), bicep curls, tricep extensions, overhead press, dead lifts, push ups, , and to finish it off, we did quick feet, high knees, jumping lunges, quick jump roping with out a rope, more high knees...

let me tell you something. you can lift and lift to your hearts content. but once you add aerobic exercise in with the lifting, all of a sudden 5lbs in each hand seems like it could pull you to the ground. i could not do the planks properly after the series of squats, lunges, and dead lifts. my legs were too shaky to stay up, nevermind my arms (which we did at the end). even now, an hour and a half later, my arms are still shaking.

i have often noticed that i feel more in shape when i'm multitasking my exercise. running is a fine activity, and for those who have the patience, endurance, and mentality to keep on going, i praise them. but add circuit training into your running, and it's likely you'll run out of steam way before your appointed goal for the day. rugby was a good sport for me because it's not just strength, but endurance, and mental capacity, and seeing the field and running into people, and then getting up and running, and then getting the ball and falling on the ground or passing in a controlled manner, and then jumping in the air and catching the ball, or coming together for a scrum where it takes every last bit of strength you have to hold tight and work as a unit.

i can run a 5k in about 1/2 hour. today i didn't go anywhere and feel like i'm about to drop.

weight: 162.6

stomper: didn't even go in the cardio room today. plus i went around 515pm.

happy holidays

there's much to catch up on.

a nearly waste free thanksgiving - we had 14 people for thanksgiving dinner, and requested that people bring their own plastic containers to take home leftovers. we had a few leftovers ourselves, but the best part was that we filled *maybe* 1/4 of a brown shopping bag with garbage. i was SO pleased! stay green, oregon!

new job - i started my new job in wood science and engineering. i spent the first several days finding obscure glassware and other lab supplies in a huge lab with mislabeled drawers, and the next several days grinding up wood samples with a dremel tool. first lesson learned: it's a good idea to wear dust colored clothing when you're going to be doing a dusty job.

first snow - it snowed for real here over this past weekend. and it's snowing again at this very moment. snow is so pretty. i love it. but the city i live in has no clue how to handle it. so they did nothing. result: very icy roads the past few days!

holidays - well i have my holiday letter written, but not edited for grammar or space for a photo. and now it will have to wait till i get back to CT to see my family, though they have a super speedy printer and maybe i can even do a color photo! we'll see. in the meanwhile i'm working on labels and such.

party party party! - i've learned you just can't party enough, especially around the holidays when all your friends are heading out to be with their families. last week i think i went to parties 6 nights in a row! saw miracle on 34th street which a very sweet play, and have been hanging with friends and taking it easy...

another first - where i'm usually known for being the drink lady at the soup kitchen, this week they needed help on the front line. so i became a salad server! it was crazy! actually it was not that difficult. i was able to still help out the kid working the drink table, and serve up salad fast enough that no one went without. we ended up with tons of leftover hot dogs and spanish rice. most people couldn't make it because of the weather.

that's about it for now, a very brief update. happy holidays! stay warm people!