thought i'd post an email i just sent off, in case people are actually wondering about my life...it's really hard right now, with emotional turmoil on overload and trying to find a new job and worrying slightly about what my future may hold...it's all the reason i haven't been blogging much but i feel like i should make time and explore my feelings more...
it's all true.
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hi there,
went to the woods, collected a bunch of soil (it was very heavy) and got to show shelley around the park which was very fun. nice to have a day in the woods with her, letting her talk and tell her stories so i didn't have to talk about mine.
last night after we got off the phone, i called laurel who was already in davis (sweet!) and she came over and gave me a hug and i started bawling. i'm sure i'll get over this soon but maybe not completely, ever. till then i'm just an emotional nightmare waiting to happen. maybe you are too.
had some extremely weird dreams last night. reunions, trains, video games, swimming pools, running in the woods, narrators, this 30 foot tall creature that was similar to the blue woman from x-men...i mean really. where does my brain come up with all this stuff. and wouldn't it be more relaxing if i could just sleep without all the extra action going on?
got a sandwich for lunch today, which had WAY too much lettuce (which i didn't ask for) and not enough mustard. but it was otherwise good and edible. i ate 1/2 for lunch and 1/2 for late dinner (just now).
hope today was a good day for you. sometimes i like to rate my days - picked it up somewhere along the way. today was good. yesterday, not so good although i did get a hug from laurel (which i desperately needed) and had sushi with her and john which was also good, a redeeming quality of the day. i think i need to start writing in my journal again. when i have time, like, when i'm not looking for a job all the time.
probably going to work 1/2 day tomorrow then throw myself into job hunting. can't wait. wait. yes i can.
missing you terribly,
me '99 :)
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