looking for a job is a drag

i tell you what. looking for a job is probably the worst thing i can think of to do with my time. so much, that i've taken to doing all sorts of other relatively unnecessary things around my apartment to avoid this hair pulling activity of job hunting. like yesterday, i cleaned out my closet. did ALL my laundry (sheets, towels, and all dirty clothes). reorganized the whole thing, and put everything into orderly stacks on the shelves. tried on a bunch of clothes i forgot i had. got rid of a bunch of shirts i don't wear much anymore (cause let's be honest, how many t-shirts does a person need, really?!?!) also ditched some socks that had holes in them. i know, wasteful.

been waging war against the ants that think it's their closet as well.

i also did a bunch of sudoku puzzles. made a bunch of phone calls. did the dishes - now, you know when i do the dishes, the task at hand must be REAL bad cause doing dishes is my #1 LEAST favorite chore, ever.

i took out the trash and the recycling. i listened to CDs i haven't listened to in a LONG time, maybe since i bought them. i read magazines to catch up on all the latest celebrity gossip - generally i do this while i'm doing laundry because my washer and dryer both run in cycles of 30 minutes, so i'm constantly getting up to go reset the dryer for another 30 minutes cause the clothes aren't dry. i feel it's good for me to read, even if it's all fluff. at least i'm reading, which is something i don't do that often.

i cleaned out the drawer i keep random papers in, you know how sometimes paper just accumulates on your counter or table or some other place? after awhile i get tired of looking at it and put it in a drawer. so i took that stack out and sorted through it and got rid of stuff i didn't need (credit card offers) and filed away things that needed filing (bill statements, pay stubs, etc.) there's still more of this in a paper shopping bag under my table, but i made good progress with the drawer.

i even worked on these motivational bags that i've been making for the rugby team (about 45 people). let me tell you, cutting out phrases from magazines and writing inspirational sayings with markers and trying to make each bag individual and cute is very time consuming.

but really, it's all an effort to NOT look for a job. i wish it was easier to find a good job without having to look so hard, and without having to go online to find one (i don't have internet at home) since i have to come to the computer lab to do all this looking, it's fine but it's not the comfort of my own home.

which is exactly why it's the perfect place for me to be right now.

my girls

just some of my favorite ruggers...

just a day just an ordinary day

thought i'd post an email i just sent off, in case people are actually wondering about my life...it's really hard right now, with emotional turmoil on overload and trying to find a new job and worrying slightly about what my future may hold...it's all the reason i haven't been blogging much but i feel like i should make time and explore my feelings more...

it's all true.

--------------
hi there,

went to the woods, collected a bunch of soil (it was very heavy) and got to show shelley around the park which was very fun. nice to have a day in the woods with her, letting her talk and tell her stories so i didn't have to talk about mine.

last night after we got off the phone, i called laurel who was already in davis (sweet!) and she came over and gave me a hug and i started bawling. i'm sure i'll get over this soon but maybe not completely, ever. till then i'm just an emotional nightmare waiting to happen. maybe you are too.

had some extremely weird dreams last night. reunions, trains, video games, swimming pools, running in the woods, narrators, this 30 foot tall creature that was similar to the blue woman from x-men...i mean really. where does my brain come up with all this stuff. and wouldn't it be more relaxing if i could just sleep without all the extra action going on?

got a sandwich for lunch today, which had WAY too much lettuce (which i didn't ask for) and not enough mustard. but it was otherwise good and edible. i ate 1/2 for lunch and 1/2 for late dinner (just now).

hope today was a good day for you. sometimes i like to rate my days - picked it up somewhere along the way. today was good. yesterday, not so good although i did get a hug from laurel (which i desperately needed) and had sushi with her and john which was also good, a redeeming quality of the day. i think i need to start writing in my journal again. when i have time, like, when i'm not looking for a job all the time.

probably going to work 1/2 day tomorrow then throw myself into job hunting. can't wait. wait. yes i can.

missing you terribly,
me '99 :)

struggling

communication can be so difficult sometimes. trying to figure out what someone says when they say whatever it is that they say. recently a friend of mine and i - who, incidentally, i've spoken with pretty much every day since october - missed talking with each other for a week. he told me that he wasn't dodging my calls but that he was busy and knew i was out of town (which is true, but he still could have called just to say hi or something). furthermore, he needed to be 'there' for someone else, which is why he couldn't come to my rugby game this weekend. which is all fine and good. but i tried calling on saturday after the game, and sunday afternoon, and haven't heard back. now either he's lying about dodging the calls, or something else is happening because i am pretty sure he's home, or at least been home. it's true, maybe he doesn't want to talk to me, but couldn't he just say that? i hate all this vagueness (if that's even a word). it's so frustrating.

trying to take it easy and not get all frustrated but i'm not gonna lie, it hurts. i've never been good at giving things up cold turkey, and this hurts real bad. but maybe not more than my current rugby pain.

happy new year and then some!

well, i spent a solid 2 weeks with my family in CT and we all got along! christmas was nice, new years was very very mellow, and i got caught up on a LOT of sleep which i'm very thankful for.

i discovered a new pet peeve when i returned to work yesterday. well first i want to say that i'm one of those people who has a hard time going to the bathroom both when it's completely silent in there but other people are in there going as well, and also when there are people talking in the bathroom. but pet peeve number 1a is people talking on their cell phones in the bathroom stall. pet peeve number 1b is people going into the bathroom to *specifically* MAKE phone calls cause it's an area of the building that gets good reception. please! i don't need to hear all about your mundane school life while i'm trying to focus!

rugby season is in full swing now. we lifted yesterday. i mean, I JOINED THE GYM. this is something i haven't done since i got out of college so i consider it a big thing. of course after lifting with my teammates yesterday, i'm in a great deal of pain, since the last time i lifted regularly was over 5 years ago! it's sink or swim over here. yesterday my arms were all shaky. today i was cramping. super.

it's hard to blog regularly cause i don't have a computer at home and i don't have time to at work like most other computer junkies. but i always look forward to seeing who has come by to visit and say hi. so say hi already! :)

not even a close call

as it turns out, the guy didn't like me 'like that' so there was nothing to be worried about at all. i was more concerned because someone had said to me, 'you know if you ask someone you haven't seen in 10 years to do something, they might think you're interested in them.' just from emailing with the guy i didn't think there was anything going on but maybe there was!

well, there wasn't. no action, no moves, no flirting. just your general chit-chat about what we've been up to the past 10 years of our lives. interesting guy but i think he wanted me to be his drinking buddy which i just couldn't do. so that solves that.

something's burning

i love this picture. look how long my hair was! this was taken feb 2005, i believe.

well it has been some time since i was last able to blog. time passes so fast sometimes. lots of personal stuff going on. been keeping busy at work, which is a good thing. although today we had a few burning incidences today...like i almost set a paper towel on fire - no, not intentionally! and then we were trying to warm up some media and ended up melting the plates and burning the media, it was smelly and sticky and hot and nasty. think gross chemicals everywhere. i suited up for toxic cleanup. lucky me. why do i subject myself to that? cause no one else would do it! oh well.

now that the reunion is over i have time to focus on things like christmas. and hopefully friendships. oh and writing my christmas letter. i'm thinking of making it different than i have in the past. if anyone wants to hear about my exciting life, email me your mailing address (everyone loves mail!) and i'll send you a copy! no guarantee it'll be there before christmas however, since it's not written yet :)

anyhow, what else is new. keeping up with the blog is hard when i can't make time for it during the day - and when they keep me busy here running around cleaning up messes, there's simply no time between work, going to rugby practice and freezing my booty off, and then having a social life at night.

my friend brendan and i were considering renting a house together, that threw some excitement into last week. this week i'm prepping to see my family for christmas. preparing to go running in the SNOW. thinking of going snowshoeing or cross country skiing. maybe downhill skiing!

maybe i'll be able to update more frequently when i'm home. but i doubt it.

anyone have any fun weekend plans?

and, here's the question for the day (it's more of a scenario):

you meet up with an old classmate of the opposite sex at your high school reunion. you knew them, they knew you, there was no old flame or anything like that. you find out that they live across the country (like you!), in a city not too far from where you live. this is exciting news because you have finally found a familiar face in a place where you feel very alone sometimes. you contact the person and ask them if they would like to hang out in the city sometime, maybe get some food or go see a museum or a concert/show of some sort sometime.

are you asking the person out, and/or are they thinking you're interested in them physically/sexually just because you contacted them about hanging out after 10 years of not talking?

me, dancing

happy weekend everyone!

it happened, it's done

i survived the reunion. nothing bad happened. people had fun. people thanked me for putting on a fun party. no fights broke out. some might thing that was boring but i was just so glad 70 people were there, ate, drank, danced, talked, and were generally merry.

*big sigh of relief*

now what will i spend my days worrying about???

this is a photo of my dad and i. he was the official photographer for the event!

snow on thanksgiving

no joke. hope everyone had a happy bird day. my high school football team lost. but otherwise it was a good day. time for sleepy...zzz...

time is ticking

we're still prepping for the reunion here but i'm thinking it's all coming together which is very exciting. anyone passing by, i know i've written this before, but can anyone suggest something fun to do at the reunion? or an easy way to break the ice with people you haven't spoken with in years? or, what could a reunion planner do to make you actually want to go to the reunion? i know everyone claims to have hated high school but i still look back on it fondly and can't understand why everyone hated one another then. i'm looking forward to this. anyhow, comments welcome.

my heart is already racing with anticipation of this event. i hope i make it out alive!

miss me yet?

absence makes the heart grow fonder. i will be posting again soon, just been out of control busy the last week or so...the reunion is getting closer, work is getting put on the back burner but still there is so much to be done, and the energy it takes to get someone you care about through a very hard time is just...well...i'm wiped. g'night y'all.

3 things

1. i absolutely LOVE kicking through fallen leaves. best part of fall hands down. followed closely by the cooler temps and the wearing of more layers of clothes

2. there is something about the word f*ck that i am having a hard time with. someone used it the other day and i almost choked.

3. actually 3 is 3 nicknames i've taken to calling myself of late:

a. wing nut - i love buffalo wings, almost to excess
b. tick magnet - need i say more? i'm known at work for having collected the most ticks in my skin.
c. quail girl - i have this dorky piece of hair that continues to curl in front of my face. check it.

rugby weekend

as with pretty much every other rugby weekend, saturday is a day of hard core playing, and sunday is a day of hard core hurting. unlike the last game (2 weeks ago) my legs are in pretty good shape as far as not much pain and not much bruising. my back and neck however took the beating this week. lots of scrumming and pushing and trying to bowl people over with a little running bull impression. i could really use a massage right about now. anyone interested should make their way over to my place, asap!

not much else. the reunion planning is still cagey. we have 35 people signed up. i was really hoping for 50. now i guess i start begging and pleading. anyone want to go to a 10 year high school reunion in connecticut 2 days after thanksgiving?

off to stretch out my neck...giraffe style...

cheers folks, hope everyone had a great weekend...monday looks like the start of a very busy week for gumby over here...*sigh*

isn't that just life

i don't have much to write. i thought i did. but here i am.

in case anyone was worried, i am fine. i'm not on the verge of depression or anything like that although maybe i should be. my main concern is a friend of mine whose wife came home and told him she was leaving him for someone else. major stress for him, and i have been trying to be supportive, as much as i can. but when someone else is emotional it makes me emotional. not to mention things being kind of crazy with my family, and planning my ridiculous high school reunion. my heart is strong, but it bleeds for those in need. hey that rhymed.

my energy is a little depleted but i'm surviving. rugby practice last night was pretty rough, my lungs were hurting due to lack of air entering them, and my legs were numb from sprinting as hard as i could for 2 hours, but...i'm getting stronger, i think. tonight is funky dance class and conditioning. it'll be fun.

hugs and all that good stuff :)

oh yeah, here's some lyrics running through my head for y'all

Nobody's perfect
All of the time
Nobody's perfect
We are what we are
There's no perfect reason
And no perfect rhyme
For most of the time
That's what we're looking for.

- mike and the mechanics, "nobody's perfect"

oh yeah one more thing, here's a photo, find me:

this is the party in which i brought one of the professors from the college as my date. he teaches plant biology / plant genetics. interesting guy. everyone referred to my date as "the professor" instead of calling him by name. funny stuff.

happy halloween

what did people dress up as for the festivities? i must know. if you're good i'll post a photo of my costume, probably by tomorrow.

this weekend was pretty intense. lot of emotions. lots of crying. i think i cried more this past month than any other time in my life, ever. i'm not even kidding.

hope all is well with everyone, i will write more later. waiting for some soil to dry. fun is :)

free...as a bird

TGIF. although this week has been pretty sweet as far as only working 4 days, i'm still psyched for it to be friday. my posts will hopefully be better and less sporadic soon, maybe.

i am recently (like today) single! so everyone will have to line up in an orderly fashion outside my door and ask nicely/shower me with gifts if you're interested in a date with a gal that's able to stop traffic (yep, did it again yesterday!)

hugs all around!

day of rest

well SATURDAY'S A RUGBY DAY - and it was, oh, it was.
but sunday, depending on who you talk to, is either "a day of rest" or "the lords day"

take your pick, i'm not coming into work to blog! i'll be sleeping and recovering from the rugby wounds. no black eyes this time.

hope you're all having a stellar weekend. toodles!

7 things about 7 things about me

(thought i'd put up a serene image of a place similar to where i'll be tomorrow when everyone is reading this.)

7 things to do before I die:
1. travel to australia / new zealand / europe
2. go back to costa rica and the bahamas
3. spend more time with grandma and grandpa (and the rest of my family)
4. build a house for me or for someone else
5. find my soulmate
6. figure out what's really important
7. thank the people who have made a difference in my life

7 things I can do:
1. tackle someone bigger than me (maybe you!)
2. listen when people talk
3. dance like no one is watching under no influence but my own craziness
4. sing out loud - in public, in private, in the car
5. ask someone out
6. cry in front of someone / cry on command
7. make people feel good about themselves / make them laugh

7 things I can't do:
1. confront people who i think hate me
2. alcohol / drugs
3. lift weights by myself
4. listen to talk radio all day
5. raise my left eyebrow independently of my right
6. stop itching / stop biting my nails
7. settle

7 things that attract me to others:
1. great smile
2. kind eyes
3. firm handshake
4. wit and humor
5. sense of responsibility
6. caring nature
7. soft hair

7 things I say most often:
1. i'm tired
2. what's happening? / yeah...
3. hey peeps!
4. "i don't get your humor"
5. need help with that?
6. come on!
7. where's my hug?

7 celebrity crushes:
1. jack johnson
2. george clooney
3. heath ledger
4. steve carrell
5. luke wilson
6. vince vaughn
7. william h. macy
*8. how could i forget COLIN FIRTH?!?!

7 people I want to do this (no one will want to, but...):
1. kevin
2. paul
3. stan
4. scott
5. my dad
6. my brother
7. anyone else who feels like it

almost forgot

will asked me to do one of those surveys, 7 things about 7 things about me. guess it will have to wait till some idle time tomorrow, but i will do it! promise!