well, trying to post every month was a good idea. in my mind, i'm writing this blog all the time. it's the thing of actually getting onto a computer and blathering all the stuff rattling around in my brain onto the screen, that's the actual problem.
music related:
the other day while biking or driving perhaps, i revisited the idea of listening to all my cds in alphabetical order again. last time i did it, or at least, started it, i was living in minnesota. i had gotten the idea from a guy i worked with during the summer of 2000 in iowa. so maybe i started my quest in 2001 or possibly 2002. and this project is not just listen to the album once and call it good. it's listening to each cd at least 2-3 times on repeat, until i feel comfortable that i've heard the all songs in their entirety.
and i got from ABBA - michael jackson while in MN. this worked out great because i had my own office where people only occasionally came in to use equipment. so i was never bothering anyone but myself with listening to my fabulous music.
when i moved to CA in 2003, i thought i'd continue my quest, though i wasn't working alone in an office anymore, and most people in CA didn't seem to "like" my music. so at home, i think i got from jack johnson through toad the wet sprocket. not to mention, throughout this time, getting new CDs for the collection, and attempting to assimilate them into the bigger picture.
so this means, i must have stopped off around U, which at the time may have had keith urban (quite good), and usher (i know, i know! i recycled it. i think.) and then led into V, W, X, Y, and Z. for V i'm sure i've got vertical horizon, w includes water street blues band, i don't think i have any X cds, Y is trisha yearwood, yo yo ma, and pete yorn, and Z has zela (minneapolis!). i know i'm not remembering a bunch that i have...but i might have had 10-20 cds to go (not to mention soundtracks, dance mixes, other personal mixes, etc) when i moved to nevada, which squashed all hopes of completing the project.
so now i'm in a place where i think i can start up the project again. but it's been like, 8 years or something since i started it. i think my new quest will be to begin at the end and work backwards. i still have about 30 cds in my "need to assimilate" pile, as well as contra dance cds which have entered the picture...maybe i'll shoot for a stack (of some given number) a week and see where that takes me.
because the work i'm doing now, for the most part, i can listen to music on my headphones and not bother anyone. except myself, sometimes.
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on becoming a musician, maybe:
this past weekend (halloween) jon asked me to join his band ('stainless') as part time percussionist and to play guitar on the hambo. having been associated with the dance community for so long, i knew that i would not feel uncomfortable, or get stage fright, while doing so, and i thought it might be a good opportunity for me to try things out. and wow, what fun! the band was receptive to my playing, and people seemed to like the percussion because it helps keep the steady beat that's so nice to have while dancing. we got lots of compliments about the band, how it was better than some other contra dance bands, and had a good solid sound.
afterwards, rich told me that i should apply for megaband. i hadn't really thought much of it before, but a couple of my friends might be partaking in the activities this year, so i figured, why not. i emailed the coordinator and she put me on the waiting list for guitar and percussion. who knows, maybe i'll get in. i don't have dreams of being some kind of front row player, but it might be really cool to be up there hearing the complete sound. though, i think you get the best sound being out on the dance floor! well, i'll give it a shot.
in the meanwhile, jon and i have been working on our music together. a few nights ago, he practiced fiddle and i worked on some chord changes on guitar. i thought it went surprisingly well, and i felt like i might really be getting it after just a short time. then again, my fingers have been numb for the subsequent few days. actually, i think it's just my index finger at this time, which means i'm more likely to try again knowing i can endure the pain.
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girl stuff:
sometimes i really, really hate being a woman. there's all this crazy crap you have to deal with, being emotional and sensitive. in the past, i've mostly let it slide or dealt with it on my own time. or not. perhaps i just stored it away. and every so often, i'd start crying for no apparent reason and then be over it.
as i've gotten older, i've tried to pay attention to what processes my body goes through before cramps are imminent. i never thought of myself as much of a PMSer, biting peoples heads off or throwing tantrums or anything. my mom said that she used to have lower back pain or something. i've tried to pay attention to that, but i don't think i get it. one thing that happened this time, though, was that i got strangely overwhelmed by negative thoughts the day before it happened. i just felt like everything i was doing was wrong, and that i was messing everything up, and who would want to hang around with me anyway?
and then ensues the crying. when i feel bad about myself, what else is there to do but cry? i think a few other women are with me on this one. but being overwhelmed by crazy hormonal levels is really just not fun.
i've always had troubles with cramps. maybe as early as i started having them. and have tried numerous ways to fight them off.
a few things i've learned:
-multi vitamins on a regular basis help a lot. now if i could only remember to take them.
-naproxen sodium works OK if i take it for a day before i think i'm going to get the cramps. this works fine if you have a predictable schedule (i'm not so lucky).
-ibuprofen works great if i can take enough of it, and rest for about 1/2 hour after i've taken it (with food, of course).
-tylenol does diddly squat. don't bother.
-breathing and relaxing are key. my brother once said something wise, he may have stolen from someone else, but he said "it's not pain if you don't let it hurt you." this reminds me of everclear's song lyric "they can't hurt you unless you let them." anyway, i think the cramping can be a very positive feedback system (and i don't mean in a good way). if i react to the pain, it increases, which increases my reaction, and soon enough i'm writhing on the floor in pain (reminds me of college, bleck). knowing that it's happening, it's best if there's a place to lay down, breathe, relax, and remind myself that it won't last for long, it will fade soon, it's just a wave of pain, i can handle it, etc. it also helps if i've taken some ibuprofen at this point. what's best is if i'm at home or mostly just NOT at work, where i can lay down and fall asleep for awhile.
-sleeping is the BEST way to kill cramping!
-birth control pills might be an option, but for the same reasons as the multi-vitamins don't always work, i would have to get on some kind of regular rhythm of actually taking them. i tried in college and it just didn't work out for me. plus, i guess i didn't like the idea of keeping all my eggs bundled up inside. overcrowding doesn't work so well in nature, why would it work so well inside me? if i ever did decide to have a kid (not likely), i sure would want them to come out normal and not all deformed because the egg had been crowded inside for too long.
so i suffer with the pain. sometimes it's not so bad. sometimes, it's knockout bad. people start to notice when i don't feel well, and i'm reminded of high school, where this one girl on my volleyball team would get them so bad, you could just look at her and know something was wrong. sometimes i feel like i'm super pale. other times, my body is overheating but my hands are freezing. and sometimes the pain is so strong it makes me hunch over while i'm walking, and limp a little bit. i know that part of this is me reacting to it, and if i would just calm down and relax it would be so much easier to deal with. this doesn't work so well when i've already taken the max dose of medication and am still in pain, and can't just go lay down because i'm at work or at the soup kitchen where people are relying on me to do my job.
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other stuff:
life is good! aside from crampiness, i'm generally happy with my life at this time. and i'm about to go to california to do a 12 hour dance! we've got several books on CD, and several music cds to listen to, and endless topics to discuss...i'm hopeful this trip will be a good and memorable one. plus, i'll bring the ice packs in case my feet decide they just can't go another step...because i will not stop dancing until the midnight bell has rung!
grass valley, here we come!
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